Regaining the ability to perform the bridge was undoubtedly the high point of my self-improvement journey in 2021.
However, circumstances had other plans for me and I found myself in a passive role.
This year, my situation is different. I have enough time. Enough time to focus on way too many things and go nowhere.
Do you see half of those points anywhere in my objectives page?
I am doing some things earlier than I should and jumping the gun on others. And other things I should have committed to have been left by the wayside. Academia as the most urgent of them all, but this webpage as well. I have completed the analysis of Akebi-chan no sailor-fuku all the way to episode 7. The analysis of episode 7 is taking so long because it revulses my Spirit and I find myself overwhelmed with spite whenever I get back to working on it. So I procrastinate. And when the time comes that I feel like I must continue working on my webpage, I procrastinate because of it. I drag myself over inches when I should have jogged a mile.
I have traces of an obsessive nature to myself. Present me with something and I will focus on it to the detriment of everything else, entranced with it until a natural end point surfaces. It is wholly satisfying to reach that point but if I stop halfway, or don't do it at all, feelings of regret and self-disappointment begin to pile up, affecting my motivation in other things I'm working on: how can I focus on this when I left that hanging?
And so I retreat forward, side-step backwards, find new distractions that will end up being useful in the long run and pretend it doesn't exist but my conscience doesn't let me: you left that unfinished.
And thus my Self is brought to a halt.
Even though time is not an issue now, outside my obligations to my oriental acquaintances and work, I have spent the last week and a half indulging in nothingness.
I know the reason why.
Save for point number 4, everything else has root in point number 5, believe it or not.
I am so close to completing my first stage of physical fitness goals. I am good to go and complete the second volume of Hanon and further a stage that should have been completed last year. My japanese vocabulary increases slowly but steadily but I am still not completely proficient at communicating in the language.
Hence, I must take this hiatus to focus on these goals. I will not be updating my webpage until I am satisfied with my progress in other areas. I will return in September at the latest with news and exciting new pages ready to publish.
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