Introducing the Sam

Sam is the acronym for self-aware mark.

In the current pro wrestling paradigm, one can argue everyone is already smart to the business. By all intents and purposes, even I could be seen as a smark. Smarks have been factored in the WWE ever since Vince McMahon "told the newspapers everything" in the 80s. Smarks, thus, are not the real force behind the slow death pro wrestling is going through. Those responsible are the sams.

Sams are aware of the fact they're smart to the business and they're aware of the fact they're in the audience.
Their intelligence is disputed and their self-awareness ends there.

A sam proclaims kayfabe dead, then bases his love or hate for certain pro wrestlers on a fabricated meta-narrative built upon hearsay and backstage rumors.
He will boo a pro wrestler for getting pushed by the owner of the company, then give a standing ovation to the owner of the company five minutes later.

A Sam will cry and moan about his favourite wrestler not getting pushed, then partake in a mexican wave the precise moment his favourite wrestler is given a chance to prove himself. They will decry a wrestler worthy of a title run then commpletely abandon that wrestler not five minutes after he's raising the belt prop.


The self-aware mark only knows one chant. It's a very versatile chant, that can be used to voice any kind of opinion he might have about the events unfolding before his eyes. "THIS IS WRESTLNG" "YOU DESERVE IT" "THANK YOU [Personality]" "WE WANT [something]" "THIS IS AWESOME" Always followed by a set of claps.

SELF-AWARE-MARK CHANT CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP

What better way to signal one's self-awareness?

For a sam, watching pro-wrestling is first and foremost an exercise in self-validation. He wants unremarkable, charismaless stooges on the top of the mountain because they're the only physical specimens they can ever delude themselves into physically identifying with. The Sam tweet-chants his insipid, contrarian opinions in hopes the company will notice him. The Sam ruins other people's enjoyment of the show, detracts from the action in the most obnoxious ways, pays his entire salary for the best seats in the house, won't miss a single show and then complains that it sucks.

No example of Sam hypocrisy is as flagrant as the raw after wrestlemania 2017.
Vince McMahon's smirk is a visible mix of smugness and confusion:
"I have them in the palm of my hand... I do?!"

When told they have alternatives they can watch, the self-aware mark will claim those alternatives suck even more without ever giving them a chance. This dishonest cope veils their parasitic dependence on the popular shows because they're the most watched by a considrable margin. An exercise in self-validation requires one to affect the biggest number of people possible. The self-aware mark doesn't like pro wrestling. A Sam only wants to be part of the biggest flock and stand proudly in the middle of the pyramid as ultimate arbiters of taste. They cannot create anything. They don't know how to contribute to anything's success. If a self-aware mark were smart, he would know there are other, better ways to achieve his goals. However, intelligence is not one of Sam's virtues.

The self-aware mark knows pro wrestling is scripted. He knows it's all smoke and mirrors. However, instead of abstracting himself from this fact and enjoy (or leave) the show at face value, the sam lets himself be consumed by a sense of entitlement found in all those who think themselves smart. The sam will scoff at casual viewers who invest themselves in story lines, but will obsess over the intricacies of a perceived meta-narrative crafted by self-proclaimed insiders who, like any entertainer pandering to their audience, will tell the Sam everything he wants to hear.

The Sam holy trinity, from left to right: Paul Heyman, Mark Meltzer and Jim Cornette

In short, the Sam deems himself intelligent enough for wrestling but is in fact too stupid to not get worked. The self-aware mark is a walking contradiction and any attempts at helping the Sam escape his mindset will be met with aggression and derision. Addicts who don't know they have a problem.

The self-aware mark is one strain of fanbase cancers and they must be avoided at all costs. Ignore sam opinions, refuse sam canon, discard sam advice.



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