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or go smoke a cigarrette or play with your cat, then come back and enjoy the ride ;)
It was the most exciting time in wrestling in a decade.
Ryback is the hottest new act in years. The Miz is establishing himself as the movie star heel. Sheamus is returning.
Act 1: royal rumble 2014
No pay-per-view event is as representative of the exciting possibilities of what could have been as this royal rumble: the tag team divison is being rebuilt around proven draws (new age outlaws go over golddust and his brother), Daniel Bryan proves himself the greatest enhancement talent of his generation by adding a new layer of credibility to the Wyatt Family, giving them the momentum required for their feud with John Cena. Big Show puts on a fantastic match with Brock Lesnar in the kind of feud that shows big attractions of their standing don't need a belt prop to work and, in the second highlight of the night, Randy Orton and John Cena have yet another classic match in their storied feud, setting up Cena for a match with Bray Wyatt. It was then time for the Royal Rumble, and one mangina was hungry for attention.
As one of the big three WWE events, it's to be expected that a sam hamlet would spawn at ring-side for the royal rumble, and what happened surprised no-one: sams want their self-inserts shoved down everyone's throats and kept chanting and throwing tantrums for Daniel Bryan. The event as a whole went wonderfully and people were engrossed in the events of the royal rumble. The Shield put on a fantastic display. Roman Reigns looks incredible and Ziggler sells Roman's spear like a champ. Big pop for Sheamus' return, crowd goes wild when he takes out all three Shield members.
Only at entry 20 do some faint Daniel Bryan chants begin. Notice only one segment of the crowd has been actively trying to sabotage the show all night, to the right of hardcam, starting around the area with the purple shirt sam as seen in the picture above. They try their darndest to get the boos flying when Batista enters, but the general reaction to Batista's return is positive (a good pop, not the biggest but it's clear the majority is happy to see him back) and the boos are shut down by the time of Batista's confrontation with Ryback, culminating in a pop when Batista eliminates Del Rio. The crowd remains invested throughout, with great pops for Cesaro, El Torito, JBL and even Fandango.
The sam legendarium really overplays their role at number 30. They finally manage to get most of the arena chanting for Daniel Bryan at this point, but it's Rey Mysterio who comes out. There's obvious disappointment in the air and boos are audible, continuing on for a moment. The crowd gets back into the match as Sheamus eliminates Big E and Roman eliminates Harper. A shield double-cross tease happens and the crowd is into it, culminating in a huge pop as Roman Reigns eliminates Cesaro, Dean Ambrose and the other guy. Batista becomes the target of sam booing with some people going to their side.
Some faint Daniel Bryan chants come back as Kane saves pro wrestling yet again by eliminating CM Punk.
This is the point where multiple meta plotlines diverge: the wrestlemania 30 meta; CM Punk's meta; the royal rumble meta and the Roman Reigns meta. Arguably the latter two are one and the same, effectively making Roman Reigns Mr. Royal Rumble. This text will focus on those.
The last two people in the ring are Batista and Roman Reigns. Sams manage to get people behind Roman and a "Roman Reigns" chant fills the arena. Nevertheless, Batista wins to a quick pop and the crowd falls into the apathy that has become typical of modern main events. Here again we hear some booing, the origin of which easily traceable to the sam hamlet.
Batista won. People chanted Roman Reigns. A media blitz spearheaded by sam thought leaders and fueled by CM Punk's abrupt leaving of the company leads WWE to steer off the planned path, with severely damaging consequences still in effect today.
There is a lot WWE could have learned from this snafu. They could have integrated the english football league approach towards hooligans, identify and bar sams from sitting anywhere close to ringside. They could lower prices for families, attracting the kind of people who will watch and evaluate the product at face value back into the arenas, contributing towards making crowds feel exciting and with the product rather than against it, in turn creating the right atmosphere for people watching at home, consequently incrasing ratings and recovering lost arena profits through TV deals. They could even take a page from the 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign, installing white noise machines over sam hamlets.
Wrestlemania 30 happened. Daniel Bryan was shoved into the main event, won with no credibility, became WWE champion, ratings plummeted, dropped the title due to injuries and later quit wrestling altogether, his body unable to keep up with what's required from a champion. Kudos to WWE for preventing another Benoit from happening. But that's a story for another time.
Act 2: royal rumble 2015
It had long been known that Roman Reigns has familial ties with The Rock. Nevertheless, he was over as a member of The Shield and sam opinion was mostly lukewarm, considered the brawny heavy hitter of the group. With the break-up of The Shield, Roman was by all intents and purposes the breakout star, Dean Ambrose a far second but still in a far worse position than the other guy, who at least found himself a comfortable spot as a heel. WWE made the mistake of assuming sams argue in good faith and decided to put Roman Reigns, a new star, in the spotlight, in a move that had already been planned long ago but prematuurely executed to give the people taking over their shows what they wanted.
But it all changed.
It was a month before the Royal Rumble and one mangina was hungry for attention.
Phil Brooks (formerly CM Punk) airs all his delusions of grandeur for all to hear and every sam in the world eats it up. Among various perceived and invented grievances with WWE, Phil hints at having invented The Shield faction in a blatant move at gluing himself to something that was more over than he ever was in his life. Phil then trashes Roman Reigns by sharing an anecdote about being asked to make Reigns look good.
Overnight, Roman Reigns went from lukewarm future prospect to most hated man in the sam hivemind.
What else is there to say? Grown bolder by the WWE enabling them the previous year and with the event happening in sam-infested Philadelphia, the dumpster fire could be predicted by anyone. Sams in their mind had the perfect justification to try to recapture the high from the previous year and it became a custom to boo Roman Reigns whenever he's in a position to win the Royal Rumble. He is now used as king-maker in these events and sams are none the wiser.
There is one thing to note in the midst of this debacle, and that's how certain pro wrestlers, like jericho and Stone Cold Steve Austin were quick to get themselves on sams' good graces by commenting he was too green for his spot, all the while maintaining a friendly tone towards a back-stabbing bitch like Phil. I have not forgotten how some were quick to turn on one of the boys while trying to be friendly with someone who was and would further severely compromise the credibility of pro wrestling.
Roman Reigns went on to main event wrestlemania and gave the OK for the other shield guy to pin him and become WWE champion, a fact that can be perceived from the other shield guy audibly thanking Roman Reigns.
In the end, Roman Reigns was taken out of the WWE title picture, leaving it to shitters like Kofi Kingston and Finn Balor. However, he proved to still be a major channel tuner and draw in midcard feuds, making the US title seem like the most important belt on TV and Rusev a household name by mere association. A testament to his talent as a pro wrestler, and ironically proving sams that title belts are only worth as much as their holders. Irony certainly lost to these people, as was when Reigns played them like a fiddle in the RAW after beating The Undertaker.
Roman Reigns is one of the best wrestlers on the planet today and represents everything
every pro wrestling promotion needs to not only save itself, but wrestling as an entetainment form
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